The other day a friend of mine texted me to say that she was
sitting on the floor of an airport terminal pumping since she couldn’t do it in
the bathroom…and it got me thinking.
When you get pregnant, especially the first time, those wonderful books
like “what to expect when you’re expecting” or “Breastfeeding: The Parents
Guide”….explain so much to you. HOWEVER,
I think they left out the chapter on the realities of breastfeeding. So here’s my list of what they forgot to
mention.
1.
They forgot to tell you that you will pump/nurse
anywhere…and I really mean anywhere. The
terminal of an airport, driving down the road, sitting in a parking lot, even on a boat. Whenever and wherever you can. I try to use the nursing cover so as not to expose everything though. Thankfully a friend just gave me the hands free pumping bra and I am in heaven!! In fact, just last night I pumped while driving to a meeting at church-I'm quite the multi-tasker what can I say??.
2.
They also forgot to mention in BOLD letters that the average woman
only produces 2-4 ounces of milk TOTAL at each session. When I was in high school, I went to church
camp and they did a skit. During the
skit, one of the girls was acting like a farmer milking the cow, saying “Give
Bessie! Give Bessie! Baby’s got to live!”
Do you know how many times I have
found myself thinking that very same thing begging the pump to give me more
than an ounce or two?!? So alas, I’m
thinking, WHAT??? I’m actually normal
and all those movies about women with freezers full of milk are abnormal? Heck yeah-I’m finally normal at something in
my life!
3.
I
recently learned that you produce the most in the middle of the night (why did
I not know this the first time around?!?) .
So of course, I set the alarm at wake up at 3am to pump in order to try
and store some for my pending return to work.
Whoa baby-I excitedly woke my sweet husband from his slumber yelling “WE
WON THE LOTTERY!” As he’s trying to
figure out what on earth I’m yelling about, I say again “I just got 5 WHOLE
ounces!!” Needless to say, he really was
not near as excited as I was and certainly disappointed we had not in fact won
the $400 million jackpot. You win some
and lose some right? In addition, that saying, "there's no use crying over spilled milk" has never knocked over 5 oz of breast milk. You will sob, weep, and throw quite a tantrum.
4.
This being my second baby, I thought
breastfeeding this time around would be a piece of cake since I was an old pro. WRONG.
Having a three year old to constantly ask you questions makes life a
little more interesting. For example: “mommy,
why do you have move-ly boobs?” or
proudly telling anyone, “my mommy’s boobies have milk in them”. In fact, whenever I am pumping, she as affectionately
named it “whack-up –ing” since she says the pump says “whack-up”. REALLY?
But on further reflection, I’m pretty sure that pumping/nursing has made
me “whack-up” or at least make those closest around me question my sanity at
least once. It also means she imitates mommy.....
5. They
lied when they said it does not hurt.
Sure, your nipples get used to the feeling but it does still hurt. It’s not exactly comfortable when they first
latch on. And have you ever had someone
bite down on your nipple? Yeah I’m
pretty sure it’s comparable to childbirth pain.
So don’t believe it…it will hurt occasionally. Here's an example......
6.
Lastly, I’m not one of those “save the world
breast is best” women. In fact, I’d
probably have given up breastfeeding this time around if it weren’t for the
fact that my oldest has and we are now fairly certain my youngest has a severe
milk allergy. Formula just doesn’t work
for them-at least not unless it’s the $60/small can type. So we choose breastmilk. And mommy sadly gives up cheese and dairy to
help her-oh how I long for a milkshake, or a taco with cheese and sour cream. But for all the struggles, one look at this
sweet baby….and it’s worth every hurt/struggle/moment.
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