Texts from the sitter

Here are some of the more interesting text messages I have received from the babysitter...

" He has a drinking problem. Milkaholic"

"RJ just said 'sucks for you' while being sassy. What action would you like me to take?"

" just ran over a squirrel. DC said 'wus dat?'"

"So the guest bathroom fan always gets turned on once a day somehow and I can't ever figure out why. Well I just did. RJ must be watching [Daddy] bc she just pooped then turned the fan on and shut the door"

"I have to send you a picture of what [Daddy] dressed them in today. You can tell he's home alone"

"RJ just asked me 'when are you going to die?'"

"RJ just told me we got the wrong brother"

"Told RJ to clean up her toys. She said no and got sassy. Said do you want me to call daddy. She said you're not going to and stuck her tongue out at me then started sashaying away then I told her to stop and she kept saying you're not going to you're not going to. So I told her to go sit in timeout and she stuck her tongue out and spit at me. How would you like me to proceed?"

"So RJ asked DC if he wanted to go outside and swing. I said we can after he eats. She says 'you made the wrong decision B. I'm the boss of it."

"I retire from dog sitting tomorrow"

"She just told me 'mommy tells me I can tell lies' I said no she doesn't. She says 'yes she does, she sneaks up behind me and tells me I can secretly"

"RJ just put DC in time out. She came up to me and said 'I just had a talk with him.'"

"RJ just punched DC in the eye. Pushed him off the couch, got on too of him, made a fist and punched him smack in the eye"

"So DC is standing on the couch and taps RJ's head and says 'duck duck goose' then literally runs off the couch. Dove head first onto the floor and his body flipped over him. He's fine. But I'm talking ran smack off the couch. Who does that?!"

"Giving them a bath. RJ tells me 'when you get older your bottom gets a little hairier'"

"Hit her on the head with his hammer today"

-Ashford