The Change

It's happening.  It's really happening to me already.  You know...the change.  I'm not even 40 yet and it's already started!  No, I'm not talking about the hot flashes although when I get mad enough I'm pretty sure I can have those.  No, I'm talking about something much much worse.  That's right my friends-the gray hair has started.  And I'm certainly not talking about a hair here and a hair there.  No friends-it's a full on salt and pepper war on my head.  It wasn't until we had family portraits done for the Holidays that I realized how bad it really was.  I had always joked that given my family history- I would be totally white by 40.  Well that's only a few short years away and now that it's actually happening full on panic has set in.  I decided in an effort to make myself feel better I would do what every one does...I googled "influential women with gray hair".  To my disappointment, this was what I found...

this is the first picture to pop up...

Thanks google.  Now I'm feeling better watching some woman who looks like she has seen holy terror in relation to her gray hair.
Next picture please...

REALLY?  YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME! There's that 2%&* snow queen again.

Third time is the charm right??
Next picture.

 Now, we're talking.  Halle Berry's rocking some gray hair...maybe it's not so bad right??

So naturally my next step was to examine in the mirror...
I'm looking-okay, I'll count them...I'm sure there are only a few.  WRONG ANSWER.
I had to stop counting.  I left the bathroom totally defeated.  So I went and asked Big Daddy a very important question looking for some supportive answer.

Me: "Will you still love me when my hair is all gray?"
Him: "well, you're already a quarter of the way there so I guess so".

Again, the whole world is against me.

All my life I knew this was going to happen at some point.  My grandmother and my father were totally white around their 40s and genetics just don't lie.  Years ago I used to dye my hair all the time with highlights, lowlights, etc.  But kids came along and honestly, it's so freakin' expensive with all this hair I have.  And if you know me at all, I'm pretty plain.  I've always said, I'm just going natural.  But for all the times I thought I was okay with it, I really wasn't.  Recently, I went to a new hair stylist (who is a good friend) for my most recent hair cut.  I was tired of the quick trim at Great Clips and wanted a new style to feel revived.  She went to work on my hair after I said, "do whatever...just make me look good".  Without batting an eye, she said, " you are beautiful."  (I smiled thinking of course you'll say that..you're my friend).  But as she was cutting she talked about texture of my hair, etc.  I jokingly said, "do you see all that gray?"  and she replied, "yes and I love it."  For the first time, someone wasn't trying to change it.  I always feel like the first option when they notice it is, "well you can dye it".  Suddenly, I felt some confidence come back.  I actually looked at her and said, "really?".  and she said, "Yes...it's awesome".  So I left feeling a lot better about my hair, thinking maybe it's not so bad after all.  I've been checking out all my friends hair in the mean time...wondering if those around me are in the same boat.  Either everyone around me dyes their hair or else I'm by myself in this ocean.  I've resigned myself to the acceptance phase.  There's not a whole lot I can do-other than dye it (and honestly, I'd rather pay for the maid).  So with the help of some chardonnay and some good friends, I'm trying to kick back and enjoy the change and enjoy this new mantra.

-Ziggy