Here's a little about who we are:
So who am I, really? What defines me? My career? My kids? I am a thirtysomething mom to 2 toddlers. I have 2 chihuahuas and a large breed sporting dog. I have an extremely demanding sales career which causes me to travel spending 4-5 nights a month away from home. I am an active member in my church serving as an elder, chairing a committee, serving on another and leading a women’s circle. Church meetings take me away another 3-4 nights a month. I make my own peanut butter, face lotion, dish detergent, and laundry detergent. I enjoy making things from scratch. I am trying to keep a garden but sadly it has fallen by the wayside over the latter part of the summer. I adore throwing elaborately themed birthday parties for my children.
I am a planner. I make lists and spreadsheets and calendars. I like to be in control and in charge. And I like to get my way. I love to be the center of attention and relish it. I am magnetic and i am magnetized. I am drawn to people. I enjoy going on the lake and sailing with my husband. My absolute favorite thing to do is sit on my back porch (or in my driveway) with a few cold beers and talk. I am loud and abrasive and funny. I strike up conversations with strangers at every turn. I laugh a lot. And I cry a lot. I am sensitive and introspective. The noise in my head is loud and twisted and swirling and overwhelming. I am consistently dichotomous.
I am passionate and exhausted. I am confident and utterly confused. I am happy but I am empty. I am living my life in between.
Between being the bread winner and the bread maker. Between hotels and gas stations and highways. Between being a responsible mom and the wild crazy girl I once was. Between happiness and peril. Between confidence and bewilderment. Between being madly in love with my husband and devastatingly disappointed in him. Between missing my children and counting down the seconds till bed time.
I believe the only way to get through things is to be positive and accepting, and to laugh. That is the entire point. I am stumbling and tripping and laughing my way through this chaotic life that I have. And quite frankly, I think I am pretty damned funny. I thought maybe other people would think so too. So here it goes…..
I am a mother to a preschooler with food allergies and a newborn. I am a social worker who works with middle and high school students. I am in a position where I send students who break the law to jail and have a reputation as the “lock up lady”. I’m a listener-always anazlyzing what’s said. I’m big on ethics and doing what’s right. I'm crazy in love with my husband, who's even crazier in love with college football. I am an avid couponer-as in, “you paid how much for that? I never pay more than $.89 for that!” I am both a preachers kid and the daughter of a Marine. I am active in our church in many ways and my faith is my foundation. I’m a sinner but I’m saved by grace. I am a rule follower and a realist. I am patient with everyone but myself. My husband says I’m a difference maker, even though most days I feel like the only “maker” I am is making it through the day. I am loyal-even to a fault. I love control and I hate change, and I'm prone to wonder in my mind.
I am a baker-I love to bake from scratch-(who needs you Betty Crocker! ) I occasionally serve dinner from a box-Hamburger Helper is actually good! I was an art major and love crafts and taking pictures. I love pictures-they cover the walls of my home. I could do a lot more projects and crafts if I had more time-I’m way too creative. I’m not a thinker-I’m a “feeler”. Always trying to feel my way through life which usually takes a little longer than the norm. I cry at Publix commercials and I cry at Sophia the First (I did mention I just had a baby right?). I’m terrified of severe thunderstorms and tornados.
Everyday I’m in between…
-wanting a large family but barely surviving with the two beautiful children I have.
-Making everyone think I’ve got it under control, yet crumbling behind closed doors.
-wanting to save the world, yet terrified to let my children see the world.
-teaching parents how to parent better during the day, but struggling to be a good parent to my own children at night.
I’m living my life in between.