So there was this...
Then there was this....
And then finally this...
We weren't officially trying, we were talking about trying. But then again, we weren't preventing. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm going to be a mom of 3 (dear God don't let this be twins) without having a glass of wine to dull the fear. And hubby? Well he's in that weird "Can I get you anything?" phase. He actually tried to help me off the couch the other night! I'm like "Save it for about 7 months when I will really need your help!" Although, like most men, I'm sure by that point he'll be totally over the "helping me" phase. They can only maintain that level of helpfulness for a certain time you know.
It's cute though.... He actually brought me flowers that night! It was the third (maybe fourth but that's a big maybe) time in our 7 year marriage that he's brought me flowers. He brings beer home a lot but never flowers! He's picking out colors for the nursery and talking about names. I'm staring at my sad empty wine glass like I'm in mourning. It's really not far enough along to be doing anything- except not drinking. See, by kid number three I can tell you the exact date of conception. It's easy...it's the only time in the last month that we had sex!! (Who has time with two demanding jobs and two demanding toddlers?!)
I guess I assumed it would take longer. Who knew that I could get knocked up simply by sleeping next to my husband without a dog (or a child) in between us. I think the hardest part is knowing what I'm in for. I mean I'm excited (reallllllly excited) for the baby and expanding our family and all the wonderful parts of "The Plan" that are falling into place. But geez.....the little plus pops up on that test and I can feel my pants get tighter. I imagine the aches and pains and sleepless nights. And I remember the post partum. I'm more afraid of the 6 weeks after the baby than of anything else.
Pregnancy? Got it- it's uncomfortable but I can do it. Labor? Check! Done it twice already, I can handle it. Delivering? Not a problem- by the third one I think all I'll have to do is sneeze and the baby will shoot out. But post partum? Oh dear God. Awful, just awful. What's the saying? "If you've been through it no explanation is necessary. If you haven't no explanation is possible."
But post partum or no.....here we go. Baby number three. If I can just get that voice out of my head that keeps repeating "You truly must be crazy" then I think we'll be fine.
-Ashford
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